Ask Noam Chomsky!

Professor Chomsky himself answers your questions about  love, relationships, and life on campus.
"Operation No Parking" reports Mission Accomplished

Authorities from UNH transportation and the Durham Parking Cabal announced success in phase one of the multi-million dollar project to bring big city parking problems to small town Durham, New Hampshire. 
"No War on Iraq" Pin used to Clean Pipe

Area student Bob Marin was forced to use a war protest pin in efforts to harvest smoke residue from his smoking device, reported friends Tuesday.
Disclaimer:

All material on The New Hampster is fictitious and solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real persons are coincidental, except in those cases where known public figures are being satirized. Comments and opinions expressed herein may not reflect those of any animal, vegetable or mineral, living or dead.
By Request - TNH Archive - Happy Birthday Q
Federal judge rules in favor of exponential function in historic antitrust case
Ask a Transcendental Number!
A world famous transcendental number answers your questions about life, the universe, and anything else.
Democritus Rolls Over in Grave

The world famous Greek philosopher Democritus of Abdera rolled over in his grave again on Tuesday, reported New Hampster correspondents from the Aegean.
Ask the Notorious B.I.G.

The New Hampster has contacted Christopher Wallace, who agreed to answer readers' questions.   [WARNING - explicit language]
Dreaming of a White Christmas: Salt to Replace Snow

Not content with the increasingly meager winter hazards presented by mother nature, New Hampshire towns are converting more and more to a salt-based winter hazard economy. 
Area Family Celebrates Aviary Torture; Holocaust Denial

Amongst other things they were thankful for, area MacVouty family celebrated aviary torture and holocaust denial last Thursday. 
Signs of Alien Life from Deep in the Mandelbrot

Scientists announced today that SMSI had discovered a potential signal of intelligent life, from deep in the Mandelbrot set.
Iraq - US Fashion Showdown Revealed!

Item!  Pentagon censorship may have kept it off of prime time TV, but we have found several pictures of the Iraq - US fashion showdown!  You won't believe the results!

TNH correspondant Jean Teasdale reports
Area man browses Weekly World News, 9-11 Commission Report

Allowing his eyes to wander while waiting in the local Pick N Pay, attorney Marc P. Noodlemeyer reacts yesterday after reading parts of the Weekly World News and of a slim version of the Kean Comission Report. 
Ask HP Lovecraft

     The New Hampster has performed ancient rites in sacred places and revived the spirit of HP Lovecraft for one brief and desolate hour, forcing him to respond to your queries.